She made my H feel good by boosting his ego with her sexual interest and sympathetic conversation
I loved him back in the day when he didn’t have two dimes
And her beauty and charm is likely all smoke and mirrors. I congratulate you for skipping the self-flagellation step that so many of us have fallen into. Kudos for recognizing that she saw and exploited a need. That’s all.
He loves that I chose to give up my career (yes you judgemental skank, I am well educated too, she looked down on my choice) to stay at home with our kids
Oh no, I didn’t skip it at all, in fact. I just am trying to get past that as it was destructive.
The OW seemed attractive, intelligent, etc., and was a person in a highly regarded career. The way he affaired down was, first, in the most obvious way: she was a person of low character, the kind who would cheat on her own H and sleep with someone else’s. And she didn’t really care about my H in any deep way, he was just a diversion from her unhappy life. It was fun for her to be involved with him for a while, but it didn’t really mean much to her and he eventually came to see that he had trashed our marriage and his own character for a pathetic involvement with someone who was cheap and meaningless.
Did he affair down? Let me count the ways. First, I will state the obvious. Someone who can have sex with another woman’s husband, in another woman’s home, surrounded by evidence that this is a FAMILY that she is out to destroy, is obviously a person with no morals. HER: she was his colleague and he commented more than once (as have others) that she was completely disliked by everyone in their world, co-workers and clients alike. She thought she was better than everyone, and had a very snobby attitude. He also commented more than once on her lack of female friends, and how unusual that was for a single woman (who would presumably have more time to hang out with gal pals than a married woman would). […]